The center of God's universe

It was a weekday morning, and I was standing in a checkout line at Walmart. There are never more than a few lanes open at that time of the day, and I had just finished the quick decision-making process: "Okay, this lane has one lady in it with a huge shopping cart full of stuff, and that lane has two people waiting in it, but they only have half as much stuff as this lady; there's another lane open, but it's at the other end of the store." I was kid-free for the morning, and I wasn't in any particular hurry; after a few seconds' deliberation, I got in line behind the one lady with the heaped-up cart.

People came up behind me, doing the same thing: checking out the lanes, making their choices. One lady waited behind me for about five minutes, then switched to another lane. I idly watched the woman in front of me as she loaded her things onto the belt, trying to sort them by categories the way most of us do. She really had an INCREDIBLE amount of stuff in her cart, and it took a while to get everything onto the belt. The cashier was a very young woman who, frankly, wasn't out to get the award for "fastest checker."

As I watched, my mind went over what I needed to do for that day, that week, etc. I looked over my calendar in my wallet; I contemplated last week's sermon. Battered women frequently have overflowing grocery carts because their partner doesn't let them out of the house very often; I did a quick "visual screen," but thankfully this lady didn't have any of the warning signs. I briefly debated whether I should have chosen another lane; it was too late to do anything about it now, of course, but should I have picked another one? I wasn't in any hurry, so it didn't really hurt me to be in the "slow lane," but what did it really benefit me? Maybe I would have gotten done a little faster; maybe God wanted me to get home to catch an important phone call from someone or get cracking on the laundry. I mentally shrugged and briefly smiled at the woman as she finished balancing the last of her grocery bags on top of her cart and paid for her order. She smiled back at me. "Thank you so much for your patience," she said. "I'm sorry I took so long." I said the basic things we all say: "No problem," "Being impatient never solves anything," "I'd have wanted to be treated the same way if I were in your shoes," etc. The cashier chimed into the conversation with little phrases of agreement and nodded her head that grouchy people don't really solve anything. I finished putting the last of my groceries on the belt, thinking, "Well, I had a nice uplifting encounter due to my being in this line, so maybe that was the point of being here."

The lady said goodbye and leaned into her burgeoning cart to get it moving. As the cashier rang up my things and bagged them, she continued to chatter about rude people and how much they screw up your day. Listening to her, I had an epiphany. What if God DID want me to be in that checkout lane-- but not for my benefit? What if I was supposed to be there for OTHER people? What if the point of my decision was to give the people around me a positive experience? Because I was in a genial mood (at that moment, anyway!), I was able to be kind and patient to the lady, who was able to smile on her way out the door. By me being there, God protected the lady from having to deal with rude people behind her; He defended the cashier against snide comments about moving faster. Maybe that helped the cashier be kinder to people during her shift; maybe that enabled the woman with the gargantuan grocery cart to be patient with her kids when they got home from school. I can definitely say that the encounter left me a little more centered for the rest of my day, a little more aware of my purpose in the world-- and very slapped upside the head by how tiny I am in the universe.

I do often think of why God brings certain events and encounters my way; when I'm paying attention, I do notice lessons He's teaching me, gentle rebukes about my behavior or little encouragements for my obedience. I could definitely tell you stories of times I've come away from conversations that I knew God had planned. But I was only aware that God had planned them because of my OWN good feelings about the experience. How many other times have I been a tool of God, but I didn't take note of it because it didn't benefit ME? Like a hammer should care whether it enjoys being used.

Ashamedly, I think this is the first time that I've thought of myself as a tool for someone ELSE'S benefit. There may have been other times in my life where I've been a good witness to someone else, even though I was unaware of it. That day, I was supposed to be in the most inefficient line-- for the woman with eighteen thousand bags of groceries.