Kids and birthday parties

So our oldest child is now in school, and I have reached one of the dreaded rites of passage: attending birthday parties for classmates. Who thought up this idea? It's not like kids at this age have a really great sense of what makes for good friends; they just kind of play with whoever's there, right? So chances are when your kindergartener gets invited to a party for someone else in the class, they probably won't care about the party for the sake of the other kid. They'll just want to go for the entertainment and the food. I'm not sure I want to instill that sort of thinking in my children. And then there's the whole present thing. I now have to go out and buy a present for a child that I don't know at all, and I don't have any sort of connection with the parents. And because of our tight finances, I usually find myself in the ironic position of struggling to buy a gift for a child whose parents make several times what we do. There is no way in the world I can buy anything that they can't buy for him/her, if he/she doesn't already have it. The amount of money I am inclined to spend (as well as what our tight budget allows me to spend) probably equals what some of these kids get in pocket money. They're not going to give a rip about what we give them. And they're not going to be mature enough to care about who the gift came from, or the thought that went into it. We've all been to these parties before, right? They don't look at the cards, they don't even really look at the presents. They just rip, as fast as they can, while the parents (usually the mother) tries to instill some sort of on-the-fly etiquette into the child. "That robot was from Billy; say thank you to him!" The child usually responds with a mumbled thank you in no particular direction with no eye contact. And the location is always a big issue. It's got to be big, and impressive, and entertaining, because you don't want all your kid's schoolmates to whine about how boring the place is. So you end up blowing a wad to entertain a bunch of strangers and set a precedent for the other parents: now THEIR child's party has to be AT LEAST as exciting as yours.

I realize that was a major gripe session, and I apologize for coming across that harsh. Not all parties turn out this way; not all parents throw parties as a sign of social status. I've actually been to one party this year that was pretty decent, and I understand why parents want to do them. I just wish everyone would really THINK about what they're doing before they do it. Quit doing stuff because you think you're socially obligated or because you want to show off your money; just show your kids you love them and you want them to enjoy their birthdays.